Not-so-good news

Why is it that I find it so easy to share good news and so incredibly hard to share not-so-good news?? I have wanted to share every aspect of this journey so far, and I am sure some of you know way more about me than you ever wanted to. I don't want to spread bad news. I want to keep it all bottled up inside and hold onto it, kind of like if I don't share it then maybe it won't be true. Maybe I can change the outcome of these test results if I don't tell anybody. What in the world am I thinking?? I could be CRAZY!! The results from our day 2 blood work (6/24/08) STINK! My estrogen level was 81.5=BAD, my FSH level was 17.2=REALLY BAD. These numbers are horrible. The FSH level being so high means my egg reserve is REALLY BAD (that # is considered premenopausal, although I find that terribly hard to understand, I know that I am old but I hardly think that 34 should be considered premenopausal). I have at least 2 cysts on my ovary and my partial right tube is possibly causing some problems. I was given all of this information on Tuesday night (6/24/08) and Garrett and I were just devastated. "It's just not right, it's just not fair, we don't understand", this is just about all we could say over and over again.


We spent Wednesday at home with each other just trying to get a grip. We got a phone call from the nurse (at almost 5:00pm) to try and figure out some of the questions that we have. First, how can my FSH level go from 7 to 17???? She said that it changes and could be better next month. REALLY!! That makes absolutely no sense but OK! Secondly, could my blood pressure or thyroid medicine cause the numbers to change??? NO (Stink, stink, stink-we were hoping that could be an answer) . Thirdly, can we get in to see Dr. Jaffe any earlier than 07/27/08?? NO!-she is on vacation and has no other openings, unless someone cancels. Garrett and I talked about a bunch of options and meanwhile my mom and sister were busy looking for other doctors. Cheryl found one in Colorado who has excellent #'s. We are incredibly blessed with a very supportive family who are very excited about the potential of having a Carie/Garrett little one running around.